Child support can be an emotional topic for single mothers. Taking care of their children is at the top priority at any parent’s list. But when it comes to single moms, their lives usually revolve around their kids. In such situations, not being able to take care of your children might be heart breaking and depressing for single parents.

Many mothers don’t file for child support because they don’t know how, or because they might just be afraid of their children being taken away. But what they don’t know is that that there is a world of resources out there just waiting for them.

Instead of seeking child support from your child’s father directly, it is advised you do so through court. Not only does that make the father keep the payment amount consistent, but the court can also force him to fulfill his obligation if he slacks behind for some reason.

Going through court means that you will have to retain an attorney. But it also means that the process will be much quicker and more transparent.

Going through an agency is also an option. It costs nothing, but can take a lot longer. Also, agencies cannot force your ex if his payments fall behind. If child support is paid through courts, a person’s income tax refunds can be seized to contribute to the payments. The court guarantees that your child gets what he deserves.

But the economic times are tough. Sometimes, both parents are experiencing financial difficulties that may result in a downward modification of the payments. This is one of the scariest challenges for single moms everywhere.

Not being able to work and a decrease in child support payments means that you will have to find other ways of making ends meet. State agencies are an option, but there are others:

Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC)

This is a federally funded program to assist parents with children less than 18 years of age. The children should be living in your home and you should comply with the program’s financial requirements. There is a five year limit to the assistance you can get. So, you can only stay of AFDC’s payroll for five years. The payments are calculated based on the amount of income already coming into your household.

Electronic Benefits Transfer (EBT) Scheme:

This is like food coupons, but better! An EBT card is like a credit card that accrues grocery money into your account. So when you go grocery shopping, you can pay with an EBT card then enter your PIN and pick up your groceries. The amount of money sent to your account, however, depends on how much you qualify for.

HUD Housing:

Low income housing can also help you save hundreds by limiting your mortgage payments. Hud housing assists individuals with low income rental or to purchase housing in your own local communities. Visit them at the HUD website to see if you can qualify.

There are many other places that can help you shoulder your burdens of raising a full family. Try YMCA, Chamber of Commerce and Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) for more solutions.

As mothers, we spend most of our time feeling guilty. And in circumstances like these, the guilt of not being able to give our children everything they need becomes paramount. But don’t stress too much and just hang in there. Kids are amazing creatures, and if you love them enough, they will turn out just fine in any case.

Have you incurred credit card debt but don’t know how to get out of it? As a single mother, paying of credit card debt can be extremely difficult, but you can take the help of various debt relief programs such as credit card debt settlement, credit card debt consolidation, etc., to reduce your debt load. There are a wide variety of companies that offer these programs. The counselors of these companies negotiate with the creditors to reduce the total amount of your debt or the interest rate on your cards.

It is important to remember that these companies (credit card debt settlement, credit card debt consolidation, etc) are here for business and not for charity. These companies charge fees for their services. But why should you take the help of these companies if you can negotiate with the creditors on your own. Let me share with you 8 tips that can help you negotiate with the credit card companies.

Tips to negotiate credit card debt

You can use these following tips while negotiating with your creditors.

1. Talk to the supervisor: You must negotiate with the creditors to reduce the interest rate of the loans. You can talk to the supervisor of the credit card company and tell him that you can’t pay such a high rate of interest.

2. Negotiate to reduce rates/payoff amount: Generally, the creditors refuse to reduce the interest rate of the outstanding debt. You must tell them that you will be compelled to go with one of their competitors if they don’t reduce the interest rate on your debt. In such a scenario, you may try to negotiate a lower payoff amount (sometimes as low as 40%).

3. Write a good hardship letter: You must give a brief description of your hardship circumstances in the letter. You should specify the amount of money that you can afford to pay to them and the date by which you can make the payments to them.

4. Negotiate a “Paid in full” status: You must negotiate with the creditors to report your account status to the credit bureaus as “Paid in full” before making any kind of payment.

5.Negotiate to remove late fees: You can negotiate with the creditors to remove the late payment fees and ATM withdrawal fees.

6. Get everything in writing: You should get the negotiated deal in writing. You should read the written agreement in detail.

7. Speak politely: You should speak politely with your creditors or else they may even refuse to talk with you.

8. Record your conversation: You should record your conversation with the creditors so that they can’t deny what they have agreed to.

Finally, if the creditors refuse to negotiate a lower payoff amount, then you can either transfer your balance to a 0% credit card or can take a credit card debt consolidation loan.

Jason Holmes is a regular writer with Debt Consolidation Care and is also a contributory writer with other financial sites. His expertise is woven around various aspects of the debt industry and with his e-books he tries to impart to people the different situations and simple solutions to get out of difficult situations. Some of his works include e-books like Credit Score The Quintessential Therapy for a Happy Pocket, Take Creditors and Collection Agencies to Small Claims Court and My Story- From Depression To a Smile.

Single moms who are playing the dating game can find themselves surrounded by adoring men who want to be a part of their lives. While this can be a wonderful thing, there are also times when it can be daunting, especially when a man becomes rather pushy about his attentions. When a pushy suitor pursues a single mom, there can come a time when she has to put her foot down and make things clear to the gentleman – or the jerk – in question.

Keep in mind that when you join the dating game, it’s not just about you anymore. It’s about your kids too, and the man you ultimately choose will probably become a part of their lives in a very big way. So if a man starts out by being pushy, you can bet that he will be that way in the future as well. It’s time to nip that attitude in the bud!

Start out by telling him gently that things don’t appear to be working out. If he asks for reasons, tell him exactly why. Give him specific examples if you can, or simply tell him that it’s an overall gut feeling you have, one that you just can’t shake. If he understands and backs off, then there is a possibility it could work. But if he argues with you and tries to make it all about something that is “in your head,” you know it’s time to get rid of him for good. Don’t hesitate on this, and always remind yourself that you are making certain your children have the best life possible.

If the man continues to push the issue, or won’t leave you alone after you have taken all reasonable steps to remove him from your life, it’s time to go further. Make it clear that you will obtain a restraining order if necessary, and also make it clear that you will not take “no” for an answer where leaving you alone is concerned. And if he continues to be the pushy suitor, make good on your promise.

Single moms who turn to the police department for a restraining order and other methods to protect themselves and their children are doing the best they can to get out of a bad situation. Don’t hesitate to do what you need to do if discussing the situation with your pushy suitor doesn’t work.

The best thing you can do is make certain your dating adventures are slow and careful. Take your time in getting to know someone, be very careful about learning all you can about them, and don’t become starry-eyed when it comes to love and romance. Dating when you’re a single mom is a whole different ballgame, one that takes even more patience and care than the typical dating scenario. Patience is the name of that game!

Single moms sometimes find themselves in a tight spot financially, and loans are often a good way to get through those short-term issue without breaking your pocketbook. Emergency loans for single moms can be quite legitimate and helpful, but there are definitely less-than-perfect routes you can take to emergency loans – and you might even run the risk of being taken by an unscrupulous loan shark who wants to separate you from what precious little money you do have.

Here are a few things to look for, and a few things to avoid:

• Avoid any loan deal that sounds too good to be true. Loans that promise very low interest rates or no interest rates at all, especially those that claim they don’t require a credit check, are significant red flags. If the deal looks too good to be true, don’t be tempted, no matter how badly you need the money. You can wind up losing much more than you gain.
• Watch for tricky language. When you do sign paperwork for an emergency loan, make certain you understand every last word. Don’t let tricky language push you into something you have no idea how to handle in the future. Read over it thoroughly, and if you can, take a friend with you to read over it as well.
• Don’t bite off more than you can chew. When you do get an emergency loan, get as little as you can to still make ends meet. You will have to pay it back eventually, so the less money you borrow, the less you have to return. A smaller amount also means a smaller hit on interest payments.
• Avoid title loans if at all possible. Title loans on your vehicle can wind up getting you into serious trouble. You might need extra money, but you also need your car! Avoid title loans if you possibly can, and if you have to get one, make certain you can pay it off within a month, or whatever the shortest loan term might be. Pay it off quickly, and in full.
• Emergency loans from your family or friends are always a good idea, but only if you know you can pay it off when you are expected to do so. Don’t risk ruining a good friendship or family ties over an emergency loan.
• Finally, be smart about how you spend your money. Use an emergency loan only for what you absolutely need, and nothing more. An emergency loan is just that – a loan. Treat it as such, and you will be on firmer financial footing.

When you’re a single mom working to make ends meet, getting sick is not in the cards. Single moms and illness just doesn’t go together in the grand scheme of keeping food on the table. So what does a single mom do when illness strikes? It’s necessary to have a plan to handle the issue.

Single moms who are worried about what to do when they become ill can consider these options:

• Always have a back-up plan. Your child needs you to be healthy, but sometimes, you are just ill – period. So have a back up plan in case that happens. Plan on taking your child to daycare as usual, and just go back home and go to bed. If your child is in the daycare at your workplace, they will obviously be with you throughout your sick day, unless you can get a friend or family member to take care of them. Make any alternative arrangements as necessary.
• Have some money put away. Those sick days can take a toll on our paycheck, especially if you don’t have any sick days saved up. Try to put a bit of money away for one of those days when you can’t go to work, but you still need to put your child in daycare. It might not be easy to save up that kind of money, but it’s something you really should do for your own peace of mind.
• Be proactive. At the first sign of a sniffle or sore throat, start taking medication to combat it. Get more sleep if you can. When flu season rolls around, get your flu vaccine – it might not stop the flu, but it will definitely lessen the impact. And when you are sick, try to remember not to touch your child until you have washed your hands, and don’t do anything that could transmit the virus to your kids.
• Talk with your employer about how many sick days you have, and how you can accumulate more. If you can work overtime or in the evenings in order to accrue more sick days, that’s always a good idea. The more sick days and vacation days you have in the pipeline, the less of a worry it might be when you do become sick.
• If it’s your child that’s sick, make sure you have alternative arrangements for your child in case they can’t go to their regular daycare center. A friend or family member is a good bet, or other daycare centers that offer care for those children who are feeling under the weather would work as well. Talk with your employer and daycare provider about the options you might have if your child is dealing with illness, too.

Birthday parties! Kids get so excited about a party just for them, they start planning and begging and dreaming long before the birthday month gets there. By the time their big day is almost over, they are already talking about the next birthday party and what cool things it might entail. It’s impossible not to be swept up into the magic of it all.

But getting caught up in that magic is exactly what leads parents to spend an enormous amount of money on all the birthday party trimmings for their children. Avoid that temptation, especially if you are a single mom on a tight budget. Instead of inflatable castles and pony rides, pony up something that your child will remember forever – a special day filled with so many good things that don’t cost a single dime.

• Free day at the pool. If your child’s birthday falls in the summertime, look for free days at the local pool. Take your child and several other children there to play. Pack sack lunches for everyone, and include a cupcake for the birthday baby.
• Scavenger hunt in the park! Ask the children to play scavenger and find a list of natural items, such as certain rocks, feathers, leaves, and the like. Whoever wins the hunt gets a homemade prize!
• Bonfire on the beach. Go digging for crabs, and then have a bonfire on the beach with your kid and their friends. Be sure to bring the things you need to have an old-fashioned crab boil! Then sit back and look at the vivid stars.
• Kitchen party. Ask your guests to bring one ingredient for the cake you will create, and then help the children put it all together. The good conversation and laughter will be memorable, and the cake will be made with plenty of love from everyone who came to the party.
• A community service party. If your kids are a bit older and understand the thrill of giving to others, celebrate by getting a group of their friends together and helping out at the shelter or neighborhood community center. Make it something the kids will always remember, and when you get home, bake their favorite dinner and of course, dessert with a candle.
• Movie night. Get friends together with their sleeping bags and homemade popcorn. Check out free movies from the library, set up the “campout” in front of the television, and make it a marathon.
• Ghost stories campfire. If you have the equipment to wander the woods, go camping! Take a few friends, be sure to pack the candles and lantern, and tell ghost stories around the campfire while you cook dinner over the flames. Talk about a birthday adventure your kids will never forget!

Emergencies happen. No matter how safe we think we are, and no matter how confident we are in our communities, sometimes things happen that are out of our control. Single moms can be even more affected by emergencies in their community, because they don’t usually have anyone to rely on in the midst of a true emergency, and their kids depend upon them to keep them safe.

Think it can’t happen to you? Think again. Take the recent flooding in Tennessee, or the catastrophic lessons of Hurricane Katrina, or even the examples of families cut off from their communities in the event of a major earthquake. These lessons prove that emergencies can strike anywhere, at any time, and often there is very little warning. The best thing a single mom can do to prevent chaos during an emergency is to be prepared long before the terrible situation strikes.

Are you ready? It’s time to make sure.

• Visit FEMA and download an emergency preparedness list. Read up on the things that you need to know in the event of an emergency, and share what you learn with your children. Start preparing your emergency kits and gather the information you will need in the event of a catastrophic event. The checklists will be very valuable in helping you do this.
• Make plans for alternatives. Though you might never have to use it, make plans for alternative housing, transportation, and the like. Go through emergency scenarios in your head and on paper, and make arrangements for everything. For instance, if you have pets that you would need to take with you if you had to evacuate your home, locate the closest hotels that would accommodate your pets.
• Pay attention! When emergencies happen in other communities, pay attention to how it is handled, so you will know what to expect. Know who you might need to contact if the emergency were to happen to you next time. Pay attention to news reports and newspaper articles about what others are looking for in the event of an emergency, and make sure you have those things covered.
• Never assume. Many people make the mistake of assuming they will have the basic conveniences, such as water service, electricity, and even cell phones. However, in the event of a true emergency, those things can be cut off for quite some time. Do a test run of what it might be like to not have those things to rely on, and find ways to manage. For instance, tape down the taps for a day so you can’t turn on the water. What do you do? What do you take for granted? By pinpointing those necessities and how to provide for them during an emergency, you will be ready when it does happen.
• Get others involved. Start right now by talking to your neighbors about emergencies. How could you help each other out? Talk about things like where the water and electricity shut-offs are located, how to get the word out from one house to another without the usual communication channels, and brainstorm ways to handle emergencies. You will all be much safer!

It is the bane of single mothers everywhere: finding that perfect babysitter who not only takes good care of your kids, but enjoys being with them as well. Single moms who snag the best babysitters tend to guard them with everything they have. Ask a single mom for the name of her awesome babysitter and her eyes will narrow, she will take a step back, and she will think carefully about her choice of words – because you can bet she’s not going to give up that name for any amount of money.

How can you find a babysitter like that? Single moms do have little tricks for finding the best of the best among caregivers, and here are a few of the insider secrets:

• Train them yourself. Is there a very responsible young person in the neighborhood who seems to have it all under control? Talk to them about the possibility of babysitting. If they have never done it before, you can train them yourself. Let them spend time with your kids. Ask them to have dinner with all of you, and take the time to walk through the house, getting them familiar with it. Spring to pay for a CPR certification, and do other things that increase their knowledge and make you feel more secure at the same time. That untried responsible young person can turn into a world class babysitter, and you’ve got them all to yourself!
• Request the best. Go to the local high school and speak to the guidance counselor. Tell them about your situation, and explain that you want a high school student who not only can handle the big responsibility of taking care of your kids, but one who also needs the money for college. The guidance counselor will then be able to handpick a few teenagers who would love to take on the job.
• Screen applicants carefully. Put ads up at the local college, hit up community message boards, and keep your eyes and ears open when you are running errands around town. When you find a potential person to handle your babysitting duties, screen them very carefully, including references. Make those calls, and ask lots of questions!
• Consider other single mothers. Nobody knows how to handle the pressures of kids like a single parent. Other single moms in your community probably need the money that babysitting can provide, and since they have their own kids, they already have a kid-proof house. Your kid will have a built-in playmate, and you won’t have to worry about whether they are getting the proper snacks, attention, and the like. It’s a win/win for everybody!
• Make a grandma smile. Consider hiring an older, very experienced lady – one who is a grandmother. The nest is very empty, and she might not get to see her grandchildren as much as she would like. She definitely has the know-how and patience to deal with your child, although you might run the risk of having a very spoiled kid by the time she’s through. However, that isn’t always a bad thing! Grandmas have a great reputation for a reason, so take advantage of it if you possibly can.

Single moms know that their children can come up with the most astounding and sometimes embarrassing questions they have ever heard. But since they are always honest with their children (or at least, they should be!), they strive to answer those tough questions in the best way they know how. Here are a few questions that single moms have learned to dread:

• Where’s my Daddy? This question might be the hardest for a single mom to answer, no matter what the circumstances. If you are divorced, how do you explain that to a child without making them worry about their place in your life? If you are single by choice, how can you explain why they don’t have a daddy around like other kids do? If you are a single mom because you have been widowed, then you have an even tougher situation to deal with when answering that question. The best thing to do is be as honest as possible, all the while reassuring your child that you will be there for them, no matter what.
• Why can’t you stay home with me? This question from your child can be heartbreaking for a single mom. You want to spend as much time as you can with your kids, but financial circumstances often dictate otherwise. Explaining to your child that you have to work hard to make ends meet can be a tough discussion to have, especially when it leads to the previous question about where the other parent is. Again, the best answer is to be honest, or to sit down with your child – if they are old enough – and show them both the calendar and the bank account to help them understand.
• Who is that man? When you start dating, your kids might have plenty of questions about the man you are seeing, and even more embarrassing, what you are doing with them. They might start to wonder about sex, which can turn into a huge issue – most children see their single mothers as devoted entirely to them, and don’t think about the fact that a single mom is actually a woman with needs. Young children won’t ask those questions as often as tweens or teenagers do. Single moms will have to decide carefully on what should be told and what shouldn’t – but keep in mind that if they are asking questions about sex, they are definitely ready for “the talk.”
• Why can’t we be like everybody else? This question often pops up after a child has spent time at a friend’s house, where there is an “intact” family of mother, father, and kids. Everything might look idyllic, and your child might wonder why they have a life different from that of their peers. Remind your child that families come in all shapes and sizes, and that just because you are a bit different from the family down the street does not mean you are any less of one. This will be something your kids will need to hear from an early age through adulthood, so start reinforcing the idea right now!