Its a long read but please help...

[frankiesmom]

Hello,
I'm a single mom to a 3yr od boy He is my sunshine and the love of my life. His father has never really been in the picture, he wasn't around for my pregnancy or the birth of my son, in fact he didn't meet Frankie till he was 5 mnths old. It took alot for me to let him in and I only did because I wanted my son to have a father in his life, what a mistake that turned out to be. The first year Wally was intersting to say the least, he would stop by every once in awhile, came around for Frankies christening, I went with him to Arizona to see his family (FYI his family met his son before he did and has been amazing in supporting me) not once but twice, he gave money off and on, which he was suppose to pay for the day care $180 a week, needless to say that died off and I was left to pay all bills for myself and all of frankies with no help from Wally. Over last year Wally dropped off even more maybe seeing frankie once a month maybe once ever two months, maybe gave me a total of $1000 for the whole year, and we lost Wally's mother in september. Wally was MIA after she passed didn't show up till mid November and by Decemeber he was homeless cause he was staying with a varity of friends since his brother threw him out of his condo back in june 09. I let Wally come stay with us the first week of Dec, gave him rules and that I expected him to help out with bills...I got $180 from him in december..while he took his whole paychecks and spent them at the bar or playing his pool league..he didn't even make it home for my sons b-day cause he perfered to go to a x-mas party at the bar and didn't show up till noon the next day..I tried putting up with this, thinking it would benefit frankie having his dad here, and it just made things worse for me, Frankies attitude changed, he stoped listening to me, he wasn't going to bed when he should and he was ruff housing with everyone and everything..I'm guessing its cause he would see me ask Wally 10X over to do something or hear his dad tell me no let him do it himself, or that his dad would snatch toys and blankets out of frankies hands and tell him their mine or that he is a baby, or he would just push frankie over or knock him down..I tried talking to wally about this stuff and how he shouldn't play like that with him cause he's going to school and doing it to the other kids..needless to say wally didn't listen..Mid January comes and Wally comes home with money $400 I was so happy, we had no TV, no food in the fridge, no money to pay day care, and I needed to pay frankies health insurance..Wally would only give me $200, that was enough for day care and left me $20..I tried to explain I needed at least another 60-80 to pay franks insurance and put gas in my car..and he refused cause he needed to pay $75 to his phone and the $125 for gas..I asked well how am I suppose to come up for his insurance and he replied it wasn't his problem!Mind you at this time he hadn't worked since the week before X-mas..so why do you need to hord $125 for gas when I'm the one going to work daily and taking our son to day care..I bet your wondering why didn't he just watch our son to avoid day care..cause he doesn't do anything productive with Frankie but put tv on and lay on the couch or lets frankie bring every toy out he has and then I pick them up when i get..anyway..I told him if you don't give me the money to pay for his insurance then be gone by the time I get home..he yelled and screamed that there was nothing he could do...and there was, you don't have to pay your whole phone bill you don't have to hord $125 for gas..I haven't paid my phone bill in 2 months and I just had to claim bankruptcy, UGH I was so upset with this man complaining about a $75 bill...when I got home from work he was gone..needless to say he sent me text message at midnight calling me every name in the book and saying crap and I ignored him, waiting a few days texted him asking how he was, is he coming to see frankie and nothing, he never responded in fact he didn't call till 7 weeks later and at that time frankie stoped asking for him and wasn't about to let him back in to my sons life when the last year he hardly came around and wasn't going to start this cycle again, I told Wally no more you have walked out one two many times and I'm not doing this to frankie, and of course he blamed me cause I kicked him out..but the truth is he choose to keep money instead of taking care of his son..now another 4 weeks have gone by and he says he is takening me to court..says he talked to a judge and she told him he'll get 2days a week and every other weekend..I don't see this being true, he's not on the birth certificate, he has never been steady with child support or coming to see his son, he just got a job minus side ones on the side where he gets paid cash and he is still living in and out of places..I don't know what to do, some friends say he will get these rights so just let him see frankie, and others say he is just BS me! Can anybody please give me advice

[SallySue15]

Hello frankiesmom,

There are several things that you can do. There are a number of state legal pro-bono law firms in each states that can provide you with legal counseling relating to civil legal matters at no-charge to low income people. I don't know what state you are in, but this is a site that has all states, so simply choose your location from the list.

Also, you can contact your local Health and Human Services department with child support enforcement. They will assist you in getting a child support order, and even setting up direct deposits from Wally's pay checks to pay his child support

Your local department of Health and Human Services has programs for assisting you in paying for child care. Here is a website for information on this, as well:

Good luck, there is help for you!

~Sally