introductions - soon to be single mother

[JTulo]

I'm jen, about 3 months pregnant. Definitely not my ideal situation. I was still a student in college, 23 years old, living at home with my mom, without a job and debt out my ears. My on-again off-again boyfriend and I got pregnant and we've been trying to make things work, but I swear every week it's something new between the two of us. We are ALWAYS fighting. Neither one of our families wants us to be together, let alone having a baby together. I keep going back and forth with my decision to do this alone. I know I'm hard on him but this just isn't easy for any of us! I love him, but I hate him at the same time. Anyone been through something similar?

[frankiesmom]

I do truely feel for you, this is a hard decision to make...I was 29 when I got pregnant and it was with a man I had just broken up with, needless to say 2 weeks after it ended I found out. I went to him and told him and he just laughed and made comments to people that it wasnt' his, so I tried thru-out the pregnancy to envolve him and he never responded, even when my son was born with a heart defect he didn't respond..not until he saw his picture, needless to say he met our son when he was 4 months old and sometimes I wished I would've told him to stay where he was its been 3 years of in and out of my sons life and no child support or help from him and him acting like a uncle or friend instead of a father, I have now cut him out of our lives but possible face some time in court...the reason why I am saying this, is because if you bring this child into the world and regardless if you do it on your own or with the father, do something I didn't do, get it all in writing and have it done thru courts so that way you don't have a battle on your hands like i do. Try to understand that the father is still the father regardless of your relationship, I love my sons father because of him giving me my son, I however don't love that he comes and goes as he pleases, allot of fathers just don't get the responsibilities that come with a child and how much us mothers give up to provide for them...be prepared to adapt your life and live not only for you but for your baby.

[SallySue15]

Hello JTulo,

Welcome to the SingleMomFinancialHelp Forum, we are glad you are here.

It is very hard to think about having a baby and raising it on your own. However, I agree with your family, being in a relationship where you fight all of the time puts a great deal of stress on both you and your baby. There may be a time in your child's life when it works to have a relationship with the baby's father, but for now, I think that it is better for you to be apart.

Please keep us posted as things in your life change, and please lean on us whenever you need to.

Best of luck!

~Sally~