I wish I could say I was SUPER MOM, someone like Martha Stewart. My thoughts are if she could do it, I could do it too. I see many women become SUPER MOM. Work, clean, kids, and husband, family activities all while wearing a smile saying "well this is what is expected of a woman", Oh and not to mention looking absolutely perfect.... REALLY???? REALLY???? I now feel even more like its Mission Impossible. I have realized that, I am no Martha Stewart! (Whom I now refer to as Martha effin Stewart) I can’t always promise to keep a spotless home, nor can I always cook a full course meal, I have tried on many occasions and it’s not as easy as some SUPER MOMs make it seem. So instead, of waking up bright and early to have pancakes made from scratch and orange juice freshly squeezed, like Martha effin Stewart. Breakfast is more my style homemade pancakes from a box of stuff that you mix egg and milk, and juice from a carton with little pulp. And you know what my kids still love it! They don’t seem to notice that I’m no Martha effin Stewart...
I do what I can with what little I have. My children are so great they understand that the things we have take mommy a long time to get. I really wish they didn’t have to make sacrifices, but they do. I am sure I am not alone, but it pains me every time I see my children look at the many things they want like new clothes, shoes, toys a bike or even something like cookies or fruit snacks. Things that I know they want and so very much deserve, and I have to say no so they put it back. My little girl 6 says “ok mommy maybe later huh just not today.” I look at her and of course say yes thank you for understanding and she then helps her little brother 3 by distracting him away from whatever it is that they wanted. UUUGGHHH “yes next time” this seems to be all I say to them. I hope next time comes soon. For the moment I just don’t have it in the budget I wish I did. I feel like I am barely staying on my feet, rent, utilities, gas, and food school uniforms not to mention the everyday things that I never considered into my budget like toilet paper, toothpaste, toothbrushes, soap, shampoo daily house hold items. I do have a new job thank goodness, but it’s a struggle with the huge pay cut I had to take in order to get the job. I was a payroll assistant now a receptionist.
My list of never-ending thoughts and worries just seems to get bigger and longer, I am so stressed a few of my worries are that I am able to maintain a roof over my children’s heads, that I am able to continue to have enough food. That my little girl turns 7 in November and I can give her something (she knows that I will not be able to give her a birthday party). Halloween is around the corner and I haven’t been able to get the kids costumes. Will I be able to get them a Thanksgiving Turkey? Then comes Christmas will I be able to get a tree and some kind of gifts? It’s cold weather time and my daughter needs new uniforms she only has a 1 pair of blues pants that she has already out grown. My son turns 4 in February. I really hope that I can somehow continue to manage and get the things that we need.

Well this is so far what I have; it feels good to let it all out.

Thank you,

Crystal