I just don't know what to say anymore...

[frankiesmom]

Hello everyone...

This is only my 2nd post..not sure if you all read my introduction but its a long read and I'll try to make this one shorter...

My son is 3 and I've always raised him on my own, his dad always been in and out every 3/4/5 weeks, sometimes shorter but most of the time longer. I made the mistake to let him stay with us because he was living in his car and it was December in chicago so I felt bad and let him stay with us..should've known it woldn't work and I should've thought more of how my son would take it after having his dad there for a solid 5 weeks..but even tho I asked Wally to leave I didn't tell him he couldn't see his son, I've never kept him away from our son. But when it took 7 weeks for him to even ask about frankie I told him no, at that point frankie had stoped asking for him..well now its been a total of 11 weeks since he left and the last week and a half my son has started to ask for his dad again..it tears at my heart he'll say things like "momma you remember when my daddy was here" or "Momma my dad coming over today" or "My daddy working" and he says all these at random times..or if he gets in trouble he'll tell me he wants his daddy..some say that part is normal. He has also had a few night terrors where he gets very mad at me and then turns into sobbing for his father, when he wakes from them he just wants me to hold and rock him in the chair...but I don't know how much more I can take and I dont' know what to tell my son at this point, I tell him that his daddy loves him, and that one day you'll see him, or his daddy is at work..but just don't know what to keep doing...
some say just give in and let his dad come over...but with all the other stuff going on between the two of us I don't know if I should give in...

Any advice is welcomed..

Thanks for reading

[SallySue15]

Hello frankiesmom,

Your best bet is to go to court and get a legal agreement on when Wally can see Frankie, as well as set up child support. After this has been established, Wally is going to be legally held to his side of the bargain. If he stops coming to see Wally during his legally scheduled time, he can lose his rights to do so permanently. Also, there will be serious legal ramifications when he does not pay you child support.

I know that this is difficult for you, but once you have an arrangement, all of the struggling and feeling like you are the bad guy will get better. You don't have to like Wally, but he is Frankie's father.

It is probably a good idea to still speak with one of the low or no-charge lawyers in your area. (http://www.ptla.org/links/services.htm) Legal Services Sites by State.

I hope that this helps.

~Sally~